‘Pimping’ Lines and Awkward Happenings (Part VII)
This week is a lot more awkward than it is pimp. It seems hard to find pimping lines lately. People just seem to do funny things. What can we say, we all know the best of us are always super rational when it comes to relations with the opposite sex. Uh, yeah, riiiiiiight. So, what was awkward this week, let’s see:
** So I’m dancing when ‘happy feet’ (yes, he was scooting his feet so fast randomly all over the place) starts to dance with me. After we dance and he introduces himself as an out of towner, then he convinces me to meet his brother, then after a few minutes, ‘happy feet’ starts dancing with another girl! **
ARIANAWow, you met ‘happy feet’, really? Lucky girl, I would’ve gotten his autograph!! Looks like he ‘happy feeted’ his away from you. There’s plenty of guys who take flight that easily. But usually they’re a little more obvious if they’re trying to play wingman. Whether he was wanting you at first or playing wingman is less obvious. Just be glad he danced his way back out easily! Now it’s time for me to kick back and watch ‘Lion King’.
**I was a local restaurant/bar and noticed there was a krewe of girls celebrating the crowning of their Mardi Gras queen for the parade. I met the queen and asked her if I could wear her pink wig, she said no. I thought it was rude. What’s the big deal?**
ARIANAWell, would you mind if I just took off your toupe if you were wearing one? What lies beneath fake hair lies beneath because it’s not supposed to be seen! Ever heard of a ‘sig cap’? Definitely not the most flattering look for a girl, think ‘bank robber with pantyhose on his head’. But, well, it’s not over her face, obviously. Just always remember to mess with a girl and her clothes, shoes, make-up or hair and it’ll be simple. Yes, simple! Because we all know girls are simple!!
** My girlfriend of 6 yrs were fighting while we were driving last week with her 4 yr old son in the car and she just got so pissed she yelled at me to drop her and her son off right there. We were like 30 minutes from her house, but she yelled it again. So, I stopped and let them out. Twenty minutes later, I felt bad and went back but she was gone. I found out later, her girlfriend who lives close by picked her up. She’s still pissed a week later. How can I fix this? Was it really that bad? **
ARIANAYES! On a scale of 1 to terrible. You’re on one step less than terrible. But don’t ask me what that step is called, maybe try terrible – 1 = you! First off, don’t ever ever ever do that again. You should know that when we women say things in the moment out of anger, all rational is gone out the window. Yes, confusing, I know. When she said ‘drop me off’, she didn’t mean to drop her off. Yes, I’ll say it again, ‘drop me off’ does not mean to drop her off. Just like, ‘just leave and be with some other girl’ does not mean to leave and find another girl. You have to listen to girls without listening. Yes, on the flip side, girls should not say things they don’t mean. Second, it’s beg time, you have a lot to make up for. Not only did you drop her off, but her 4 yr old son off too! If anything, just stop the car and let everybody cool off. Sometimes it’s hard to be the bigger one and not fight back. I always try to call out the behavior to reset everything like ‘could you please stop yelling at me’ or something similar.
Don’t drop your girl off, otherwise she might happy feet away. Wigs are meant to stay on your head and don’t drink juice while in the neighborhood of your hood or something like that. Boys are boys, girls are girls, dating is confusing but if wasn’t, who would want to do it! Until then, date one, date on!! And here comes Mardi Gras time, we here at STD are ready!