Yelling and Yanking
I broke up with my ex-boyfriend about 3 months ago because he just wasn’t treating me well. He no longer complimented me, disrespected me all the time, and was always hiding his phone from me. We had been dating for about 5 years. The past couple weeks we’ve been hanging out again. We were hanging out at his apartment last week when I got a phone call from my cousin. I stepped out on the balcony to take the call. My ex-boyfriend overheard me call him a jerk and he yanked me back into his apartment. He started yelling at me telling that I was disrespecting me in his place and started calling me stupid. I argued back with him and then he said, ‘You better stop before I choke you and slap you.’ I came to a dead stop and was scared. I made some excuse and left after that. He’s never been like that in the 5 years I was with him. I don’t know what to do with him anymore. Should I continue trying to get back together? Some of my friends say I should leave him. What should I do?
Without a doubt, you should stop, turn around and walk away. He threatened you and whether he meant it or not, you should be concerned. A man that really loves you will not disrespect you by saying those things. He was also yanking you into the apartment. A person who cares about you won’t lay a hand on you, but will instead ask you politely to come in. No one gets respect when they try to force someone. And I take it from your talk about the yelling, that this may have been a common thing in your relationship. That is not healthy at all. Disagreements and being upset is common a relationship, yelling is not. That is a very toxic point to be in a relationship when people are being disrespected and understanding is just a mere word. You’re most likely not able to fix this relationship, but you should learn from this and know that fighting to where no one is listening will never lead to understanding. Make sure the next person you’re with deeply cares for you, is at a healthy point in his life, and really listens to you. No relationship will survive without it.