Long Distance Dating

• Posted on July 11, 2012
• in Dating
• by Someone to Desire

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QUESTION:

I’m currently separated from my husband, soon to be divorced. And the last year I’ve dated and talked to several different guys. There was usually a physically attraction, but nothing strong enough to keep me interested more than a couple months (if it even got to that point). A few months ago, my best friend’s sister and her co-workers came into town. We went out one night and I met her good looking co-worker! He and I hit off, we danced all night. He seemed really interested in me and we even made out, actually very passionately (no, we were not drunk). We exchanged numbers and started talking all the time right away. He was so sweet to me and such a nice guy. We got along so well.

He asked me to go to Miami with him Labor Day weekend and I said yes right away. Later, after a week of talking, he had to go to Europe for work. We skyped and Facebook messaged all the time. We talked about everything and again, no mention of sex. My best friend grew up in a good family, so I knew her sister was a good person and I trusted her judgment in friends. We continued getting to know each other. Even when he returned, we continued to text daily. We keep talking about the trip and how we were excited. Sex came up and I let him know that didn’t want the trip to just be about sex, I want more and to get to know him better. But now, I’m having second thoughts about going. And even if I do go, what if he just wants sex? If he really does want me, how do we have a long distance dating relationship? We’re a time zone and 10 hours apart!

AUBREY:

It is easy to let an opportunity slip by you because there is so much risk involved and you cannot live your life following every whim in search of love. In the end, your life is about what you did to change the world. No one but you can live your life. However, it is so easy to get too caught up in this philosophy and I have found myself over the years falling more and more into this pattern of thinking. I have missed out on great opportunities because of fear- fear of the unknown. Although you need to be cautious and follow your instincts, in love, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder.

So be open to him, visit him, talk to him, and find out more about him. If he just wanted sex, honestly, he probably would not still be talking to you. If he is as attractive as you say, he probably has plenty of opportunity to hook up with girls and most likely would have lost interest in your non-sexual conversations already. Long distance relationships are tough, but if you are both committed and care about one another there is really no reason why it could not work out. Follow your heart and take your time and see what happens.

EDITOR’S NOTE:

The reader ended up moving in with him and after 5 years of dating, they are engaged. Although you may have trust issues from your past, we can all have a new future and there’s always hope. Don’t lose hope!

Tags: co-worker, facebook, fear, long distance, long distance relationship, sex