Q: I am so confused. I have way too many things going on right now. Six months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 10 yr and made all the changes–confidence, makeup, clothing–I pretty much look my best all the time. I carry a lot of confidence with me which seems to attract all these guys. I don’t go searching for it, it falls into my lap, but right now I’m more confused than ever. I have a few guys who want a serious relationship with me but I’m deathly afraid of trusting anyone. I just froze up when I realized one guy was really wanting something more. When the other guy started showing signs that he wanted our friendship to go elsewhere I started mistrusting everything he said when I once trusted it as a friend. And the other guy works on an oil rig and is out 4 months at a time. I mean, I like different things about all of them, but I’m not ready to stop my lifestyle of meeting and talking to different guys. It’s a safer place for me. Then I have other guys who are just looking for something casual, nothing more than taking it day to day and enjoying each other’s company. I like that, but I’m afraid if I stay too long in that I’ll be stuck. They’re guys that I enjoy their company, they don’t get on my back about things or get jealous, and well, the physical attraction is definitely there. Should I date all of them? Should I try a relationship? Should I just go with the companions? Help me, I really do like something about them all, but my head hurts.
A: One, don’t be so hard on yourself. But wow, 10 yrs for a boyfriend lady? I can see why you’re reluctant to let anyone in. No one can afford to give away a decade to someone only to have it end. But, look on the bright side, you have options. Maybe not the best options, but they’re still options. And you’re not deciding to choose your husband here, so some of these so so guys will do if what you’re truly looking for is just fun and compaionship. Hey, some people are only ready for that. I don’t judge, that’s their thing. And wait, did I count right that you have 3 guys who want to be in a relationship with? Goodness child, no wonder you’re confused. That’s half your week there just to keep up with them. Have fun with it, sometimes in life there’s only one point in life where you can enjoy such uh, um, variety, choices, buffet, errr, freedom. Yes, few times you can have such freedom. But I am quite impressed, I’d actually like to be in your shoes right about now, my life is quite boring and needs some spice. Oh yeah, forget my green eyed envy, back to you. Hey, taking it day by day at this point is a safe bet for you, 6 months is not long at all to heal from a 10 yr relationship. Sounds like you’re doing a good job getting there, but only time can heal such hurtful wounds. Enjoy whomever you want to spend time with whenever, just make sure they all know that you’re uh, shopping at other stores. Being led on is never a good thing. If they know, they can leave if they want. If they stay, they stay at their risk. And speaking of risk, enjoy your singlehood, you deserve to have what your heart desires and meet new guys and have fun. But, be safe, this day and age, you have to be. Everybody should practice smart, otherwise you’ll have more STDs than just having us as your blog. Keep it real, have fun, and go with it.