‘Pimping’ Lines and Awkward Happenings (Part V)
I’m sitting here eating my candy bar at 1 in the morning try to think write this up and I told myself I would probably run from a guy who’s eating candy bar and drinking soda at this hour like I am. Anyhow, I digress. It’s only the 5th day into this new year and of course we got lines for you. There is no shortage of awkward happenings this early in the year, so let’s hear ‘em.
** This dude jumps in front of me and starts booty dancing while I’m doing the ‘wobble wobble’ line dance. **
Hahaha, that’s a funny site. Unfortunately, some people don’t know about the ‘wobble wobble’, so he really may have thought he was in the prime time for trying to bedazzle you with some booty shaking. But, yes, I can’t stand when my rhythm is interrupted by a rump shaking fool. There’s something called smooth! Smooth is becoming part of the moment to flow right into the person’s world. Collision is when you randomly jump into somebody’s world without thought or care if the moment is right. I like the song ‘Crash into me’ by Dave Matthews, but not when it comes to dating. Rump shake outta this space dude and let the girl wobble!!
** I went out with this guy one time and the next time I talked to him, he told me he was laying in bed still at 10 in the morning and told me to come over. Of course I didn’t, but he sends me a picture of himself under the covers without a shirt on while he’s laying in his bed with a bunch of cats. **
Man, this is where I wish I had an ‘awkward’ button to push and have everything go back to normal. I’m not sure if the dude thought the fact of him shirtless in the bed would outweigh the fact that he’s surrounded by a bunch of cats. But, yes, that is a little tacky for a picture to send when you’re just meetng someone. I don’t know that I’d want to end up in his bed if I’m going to be surrounded by other ‘pussycats’. Put your shirt on son and send a regular picture without your cats.
** I have been talking to this girl for a month or so and I’m really bad at texting. After a few days of responding, she sends me this whole speel on why not returning texts is bad. Then she told me I moved from #1 to #4. I didn’t even know there was a ranking. **
Oh I feel sorry for you, you dropped 3 places. Wow, that’s impressive. I guess you probably dropped in rank each day. But, yeah, guess there’s a queue in line for that girl whether you knew it or not. She obviously can command a following, so you are definitely in an awkward happening. I have a simple suggestion to fix it all and it’s not to click your heels or to wave a magic wand. But, maybe you should try TEXTING the girl. I don’t know, something tells me you could possibly move back to #1 in 3 days if you work hard enough. Or be careful, you might totally drop out of the rankings, don’t do that unless you really want to become a forethought.
I think every dating scenario could possibly end up being awkward and who ever gets the pimping lines the same! I mean, we’re all learning. There are just some on the fast track. So in summary, don’t text weird pics, don’t ruin the wobble line dance (or any of the others, ya know, achy breaky, macarena, electric slide, etc, if you don’t know ‘em, you should at least know the song and name of it so you at least stay out of the way), and make sure you text a person back that you like. I don’t know, that last one confuses me, that’s like ‘I LIKE YOU 101′ lessons. I suppose everybody needs a refresher! So refresh!! And remember, don’t say anything you think would end up in this weekly edition. Tally ho on to dating!!