Meth in my Life

• Posted on January 14, 2012
• in Q & A, Relationships, Social Issues
• by Someone to Desire

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAcsKJKM_xM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

QUESTION:

I was dating a guy for 3 years and he was using steroids for over a year while we were together and I didn’t know. One night after I got upset after seeing a text from a girl he used to talk to, he went into a rage. He slapped me and choked me,but let go when he realized what he was doing. He was always gentle, so I didn’t know where this came from. I threw him out of my house and the next day he told me why. He told me he was quitting. But I told him I was done, I asked for a work transfer to a city 3 hours away and was moving asap. I couldn’t go home because I was from the Midwest and there weren’t job opportunities especially for a rockstar job like I had now. He begged me to stay and said that we would get married. I had heard that before but I was afraid for my life. I moved and was there for 6 months when he started to visit me a couple times a month. He had cried and begged for forgiveness, so I let him back in my life. He was not one to travel much, so him to travel that much for 6 months was huge. One weekend, he told me to start looking at rings and we watched the movie ‘Fireproof’. He told me he wanted me to move back and that he wanted to take care of me. He begged me to come back and with tears in his eyes, he told me he was a changed man. I was miserable being away from him so I got another work transfer back. A month into being back, he left his email open and I found sex videos of him with another girl dated the week before. I kept it to myself for a week, then I found out my job was laying me off. I confronted him and he denied it. I knew he was lying. Now I have no relationship and no job with no reason to really stay in this city anymore. Should I move back home? I’ve been wanting to switch careers and I could live with my parents in the transition. Should I stay with this guy? My gut tells me no. I don’t understand how he could do this to me when he started talking about rings and taking care of me.

ANSWER:

Woah! That sounds really traumatic. In fact, that sounds really disgusting. I know most people would go livid and on a rampage after seeing a video like that, so kudos for you to stay calm. And unfortunately, sometimes people say things when they don’t really mean them. I’d hate to think it was a ploy to bring you back, but sometimes people use selfish ploys to get what they want. And well, you seem to be what he wanted, but once you were there, well, he had other girls to meet his needs. And, to even record such a thing of an act of cheating is even more repulsive. No, you should not stay with this guy. One, he lied to you. Cheating is a form of lying and he lied about cheating. Sooner or later, most cheaters get caught. It’s beyond me why they try to lie about it. Two, he had you relocate you, your job, and all your belongings only to selfishly get involved with someone. And well, I would leave the city only to pursue something else, not to run from him. You also have to be sure you’re really ready for a career change and have the finances for it. But when you leave, don’t look back. He will, I’m almost 90% sure, that he will ask you to come back. And probably throw around the marriage and engagement ring card, but know that marriage is about truth, honesty, dedication, and sacrifice. Cheating is none of those, having a ring on your finger is only a prop if those other qualities are not there. You have given him his second chance and he failed. How many more chances do you want to give him? Everybody deserves to be respected and treasured, not thrown to the wayside and disregarded. Good luck and he’s a lucky guy if you’re not the kind of girl to release those videos on the Internet. I’m sorry. There are people out there who will treasure you, just not this one.

Tags: 6 months, begged, cheating, cried, lying, rings, Sex videos, transfer